Who needs tickets?

The Pro Bowl rosters were announced yesterday and despite the fact that ultimately they are meaningless, it serves as a bit of an early Christmas for me. See, young Drob and I are of different schools of thought concerning the NFL’s all-star extravaganza. He seems to think that every all-star game is a waste of his time, while I enjoy seeing players in different helmets playing on the same field. For some reason it looks so damn chaotic out there, and I love every minute of it. Also, being on the lookout for your someone on the field with your teams favorite helmet when you’re 10 years old might be one of the highlights of my youth. Which explains why Drob, a Bears fan, doesn’t like the Pro Bowl since they probably didn’t have a single entry from 1986 until 2004.

Another reason I enjoy this game is that for the next week or so everyone will complain as to why or why not someone didn’t make the team. Well, uh, you know, we voted for them. That’s like complaining who the President is. If you want to blame someone then blame your countrymen (or the residents of Japan and China when discussing the MLB and NBA all-star games). The fact of the matter is that American’s should not vote on anything, ever. If we can’t figure out that Fred Taylor is a better selection than Joseph Addai (who averaged a full yard less per carry than Taylor), or realize that Marques Colston is more deserving than Donald Driver (who wasn’t even the best WR on his team) than how are we intelligent enough to vote for anything. I think that Mark Wahlberg, Mary Lou Retton, and Billy Dee Williams should be locked in a room and make every decision for this country on a daily basis.

I also like the Pro Bowl because you already miss football by the time it comes on, like if there were a baseball game in late November. Plus, the game can sometimes fall in or around Valentine’s Day which gives me an extra excuse not to go on a terribly expensive date with The Misses…

The Misses: So tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, what did you have in mind? Dinner?

Me: Ooooh, sorry hun, but the Pro Bowl is on. Really wish I could miss it, but I have Braylon Edwards in my keeper league for next year and I really want to see what kind of stats he puts up against the NFL elite.

The Misses: Well it says here the game isn’t until 9pm, we’ll be back from dinner by then if we eat early.

Me: Um, sorry again, but there’s about 14 hours of pregame that I must watch to understand what’s going on in the game. Also, there’s some real nifty contests they have like ‘Who can lift weights the best’, which I guess I could see at any Gold’s Gym in the world, but it’s more fun at this event since everyone will be wearing lai’s.

The Misses: You’re kidding right? It’s Valentine’s Day, the most important day of the year to spend with a loved one.

Me: I disagree…Everyday spent with you is the most important day.

The Misses: Awww, that’s so sweet, I guess you can watch your game and we’ll go out some other time.

/Completely fictional representation

I also really enjoy the fact that zero Jacksonville Jaguars made it to the big game despite their 10-4 record. Fred Taylor was obviously a snub, as was half their defense. I don’t care how good Jason Taylor played this year, when your team is 1-13 you do not deserve a single player in the Pro Bowl. Especially when younger lineman (Mario Williams) are having such exceptional seasons (13 sacks). Again, Mary Lou Retton would have noticed this and corrected the problem.

“I voted for Happiness!!!”