Who needs tickets?

This Thursday the NFL Network will be blacked out in a few of the cities whose teams will be playing, leading even the most casual fan at home to think, “Uh, you’re kidding right”. Oh, they’re not kidding, but at least they have a solution to your problem. And no, it does not involve you watching the game in your house. The Network (if you want to call it that) is going to fly a rather large blimp over the blacked out cities with a large television screen attached to it. And I guess a giant megaphone speaker. And what if it’s cloudy?

Basically, this is going to be just like when you’re at the beach and those planes fly by with advertisements that you could barely read. Except these planes (blimps) will be flying 1,000 feet higher and the advertisements (the football game) will need to be viewed with binoculars, which is all a waste of time. And again, what if it’s cloudy?

Luckily for us, our old Presidential candidate, John Kerry is on the case. His beloved Patriots play the last game of their potential undefeated season on the NFL Network, and Kerry is fired up that some of his Boston pals will have to listen to the radio, go to a friends house, or walk to a neighborhood bar. At least now there’s a chance you’ll see the Pats/Giants game. Good work American Government, and keep getting those bad steroid baseball guys that are worse than al-Qaeda.

“Here Senator Kerry is eating the blimp. He obviously hates the idea.”

It’s times like these when you have to sit back and say, “You know what, maybe Bush isn’t all that bad, and we made the right decision four years ago.” And trust me people, I bought NFL Network in the beginning of the season and you are better off watching Bionic Woman than listening to these ’sports talents’ try and call a game.

I was joking about the Bush thing by the way…