Who needs tickets?

The BCS is about to be a disaster. Kansas is going to beat Missouri, then lose to Oklahoma. LSU isn’t guaranteed to win out, so they might drop off again as well. Basically, there are about 6 to 8 teams this year that are all kind of even, which means that a single game simply cannot clearly define who is the college football champion this year. Now we all want to see a tournament played, but we also all know that this is never going to happen. So I’m here today to offer you some alternative methods to define which team is college football’s best.

1. The Globe Spin - Spin a globe around and then quickly stick a pin in a random spot. Whichever university is closest to the pin is your winner. Sadly, this is still more logical than the BCS system. (Sidenote: I just tried it and the winner was University of Baghdad.)

2. Who’s Now? - Since ESPN has decided to control the sports world, how about we just let them decide the winners too? That’s right, a “Who’s Now?” of college football!!!! Stuart Scott is so excited for this, his eyes are poppin’ out of his head! And don’t forget the celebrity picks. I can’t wait to see who Mark Wahlberg and Jessica Biel believe is the nation’s top team!

3. College Football Idol - College football should be about more than just football - it should be about which team has the chance to be the next American idol!!! You’re sure to laugh when LSU defensive tackle Glenn Dorsey tries to sing a Coldplay song and Simon just rips him apart, but Dorsey decides to pancake him afterwards. Oh, and Paula Abdul will be thrilled to party with the college football teams….

Paula Abdul (above) parties with the mascot for the NC State Wolfpack

4. Mascot Royal Rumble - You thought that fight between the Washington State Cougar and Oregon Duck was cool? Just wait until there’s 128 mascots in a wrestling ring fighting to the death. My money is on Otto the Orange! Go ‘Cuse!

5. The International Orange Tostitos Fiesta Bowl with Sugar on top - That’s right, we are combining 4 bowls into one MEGA BOWL! Eight teams playing each other at once to decide the #1 ranked team. I have no idea how this would work, but man would that be fun to watch!

6. EA Sports College Football ‘08 - The coaches of the top two teams play each other in this video game, but they play as the other team. And put the settings at snow game, no injuries or penalties. This will truly decide who is the better coach.