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One of the most exciting plays in all of sports is the punt/kick return in football. From Pop Warner to the NFL, this play will always be smash mouth and can have a critical influence on not only the score but the momentum of the game. And even though it’s not extremely common to see a kick returned for a touchdown, there is always a legitimate chance of the runner ‘taking it to the house’ as they say (unless of course you play for the Arizona Cardinals, who in the history of their franchise have never returned a kickoff for a touchdown).

Last nights matchup between the Colts and Chargers substantially proved this theory. Darren “Hobbit” Sproles returned both a punt and kickoff for six points, by far the defining point for the Chargers victory. By looking back on these specific returns, however, there is something else going on entirely in special teams play that should no longer be ignored. Kickers are terrible at tackling. It’s not even that they’re bad, they are actually worthless. Usually their tackling style consists of biting on a fake from the returner when he’s fifteen yards away which throws the kickers entire body to one side. Then he will reach both hands the other direction in the hopes that his fingertips glancing the upper leg of the returner will somehow bring him down. This rarely works.

The problem with this strategy is that the kicker is most likely going to be the last line of defense for the special teams, and the only thing preventing six points from being flashed on the scoreboard. You don’t HAVE to tackle the guy, just slow the runner up so your buddies that are racing behind him have a chance to catch up and make a play. But noooooo, this manages to be way too hard a task for a professional athlete. Thus, I have some advice to you soccer players that may assist in bringing down the fastest playmakers in all of sports.

1) Just bring the guy down - It doesn’t matter how you have to do it, just don’t let him score. Who cares if you’re assessed a 15 yard penalty as long as he doesn’t get to simply jog into the endzone. Here are some illegal ideas…

        - Throw your helmet at his ankles.

        - Lay across the ground acting as a human speed bump in the hopes that he doesn’t see you.

        - Kick him (you are a kicker for godsakes, use your strengths as an asset).

        - Clothesline him (see video).

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYJddST2Qbg[/youtube]

 2) Slow him up - If the returner has to make any kind of juke/spin/jump/stiff-arm, his overall speed will be diminished and he will have to begin accelerating again. This will give ample time for your buddies to catch up. Some thoughts…

         - Scare him by throwing your arms in the air and yelling something along the lines of “boogie boogie”. He probably won’t be scared since you are only 5′6 and 120 pounds, but he’ll certainly be confused.

         - Douse yourself in gasoline, light yourself on fire, and run around screaming. This actually may backfire since the returner will most likely run away from you even faster due to the whole fire thing. But at least you will be proving to your teammates that you’re hardcore and willing to do anything to win.

         - Find out the specific interests/hobby’s of each kick returner and bring said interest out on the field with you. When he breaks free start playing and hope he takes his eye off the prize for a split second to check out what you’re doing. I know if I was on the way to the endzone and saw the kicker playing Mouse Trap I would definitely slow down to see if he set the game up correctly (which he probably didnt, since most people don’t have the attention span to truly understand the concept of setting up the trap the right way).

3) In all honesty, just learn how to tackle properly. It won’t be easy taking down a shifty, fast professional athlete while he’s running full speed, but it is still possible. Stand your ground and don’t bite on the first move, then throw your shoulder into the lower part of his body in an attempt to trip him up. And when all is said and done, just try to not look like an idiot. The chances are that the runner will get by you, just make some sort of solid attempt so the other guys on the team won’t make fun of you behind your back in the locker room (which they will probably do anyway, since you know, you are a kicker).